The Quiet Ones

Each class has them – the quiet ones who shun incessant chatter and need space. They speak when necessary, have just a few close friends and appreciate a little alone-time. They spend a lot of time thinking, listening, observing and are usually passionate about solitary activities like reading and drawing.

The Extrovert As The Ideal

They are called introverts. While it is neither illegal, nor immoral to be one, it might as well be – for all the effort that is made to convert them. They are constantly harried into taking part in noisy group activities and sports, dragged onto the stage or placed under spotlight of some sort.

Apparently some fool decided that extrovert is the norm (Probably the same fool who decided that blue is manly and pink is sissy.) and soon a thousand schemes were launched to shine the light of extroversion upon all of humanity. I shudder to think of a world full of hearty “ho-ho-ho” backslappers but apparently that is exactly what we should be aiming for.

Quiet – the power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking

 In a world where seriousness and sensitivity are not just undervalued but also seen as undesirable, it was a relief to come upon the above-mentioned book which celebrates these as virtues. Susan Cain uses research, analysis and real life examples to make the case for nurturing the inherent strengths of an introvert.

Deconstructing The Myths

She deconstructs the myth of extroversion as the key to success and counters this argument with a list of accomplished introverts that reads like a “who’s who” of humanity: Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, W.B. Yeats, George Orwell, J.K. Rowling, Steven Spielberg, Warren Buffet, Bill Gates, Larry Page, Mark Zuckerberg. In the Indian context it is Mahatma Gandhi, B. R. Ambedkar, Azim Premji, Mother Theresa, Narayana Murthy, Sachin Tendulkar, and Vishwanathan Anand, who “have shaken our world, in a gentle way”.

Dismissing the stereotype of introverts as hermits, she describes most introverts as “perfectly friendly and sociable people who have a greater need for downtime and solitude. While they enjoy parties, after a while they wish they were home in their pyjamas. They prefer to devote their social energies to a close circle of family and friends. They dislike conflicts and over stimulating environments. Many have a horror of small talk but enjoy deep discussions.”

A perfect description of a bunch of 9 year olds who I proudly think of as “my book club kids”.

My Circle Of Little Introverts

A few years ago, I had put together a book club for students of standard 4 in my school. They were all avid readers and soon went on to become very effective writers as well.

They enjoyed long afternoons reading, writing and discussing books, authors and everything else. They spent a great deal of time sprawled around the room in companionable silence, each one lost in a book. The silence did not seem to make them nervous and they did not strive to fill it with needless conversation. In contrast, the discussions were passionate and animated. Arguments were always soft but effective, gentle but incisive. “We can only eliminate terrorism when we find out why people become terrorists. Catching terrorists can never solve the problem.” I would never have believed a 9–year-old capable of this little speech, if I had not heard it with my own ears.

They all bonded instinctively and deeply and when together, there was a sense of belonging.  As if, at long last, they had found the members of their lost tribe. And in a sense, they probably had.

I have no doubt that they will all achieve much in life, not in spite of, but because of their introversion.

Last word from the inventor of Apple Computer

The legendary Steve Wozniak, in his memoir, gave this piece of advice to kids:

“Work alone. Nothing really revolutionary has been invented by a team or a committee.”

I couldn’t agree more.